Where Did My Babies Go?

The other day, as I was watching Ally and thinking about the little young lady she's rapidly becoming, I came to the startling realization that I am no longer a 'young mother'. When I left high school and went to college, I thought "Holy Crap! I don't live at home anymore!" But, I lived with my older brother, who always looked out for me and my parents sent me money every month to help out. So I really wasn't alone or on my own.... not really a responsible adult just yet. Then I got married. I moved across the country and was truly on my own, paying bills, going to work everyday. I felt pretty good about being so independent. Then, as a new mom I had another "Holy Crap" moment. As I held my daughter in my arms I thought "Holy Crap! I'm a mom! I have to take care of this little human being 24/7 without fail!" It scared me. I fit in at church and in the community with all the other young mothers... moms with babies and toddlers. It was a pretty comfortable place to be. Our kids were so young that we didn't really worry about the influence of peer pressure, homework assignments, choosing the right outfit, censoring what the kids watch and read... I was a "Young Mother" (at least in my own mind) for several years. Even when Ally went to kindergarten I thought of myself as a mother of small children because Eve was only four and Cooper was a baby.

Recently it occurred to me, after I had the 'Facts of Life' talk with my nine year old, that I am no longer a "Young Mother". I don't have babies at home anymore. I can't sit around having conversations with other women about nursing, changing diapers, going through the "Terrible Twos", etc. When I shop for Christmas presents I no longer get to go to all the fun little toys for preschoolers. I am so sad that I can't buy princess dress ups and barbies and baby dolls and strollers. We left Houston and gave all that stuff to Goodwill. How sad! Cooper is still only 4, and I am clinging to that for dear life (just ask Lee, he'll affirm), but really, he plays games with his sisters, is almost completely self sufficient, and really only calls for help when he wants help wiping his tushy! So, I had yet another "Holy Crap!" moment, accepting that I no longer have babies in the house. They are all in school, happy to leave me everyday, happy to explore and discover a world beyond mommy. I decided to share some of my favorite baby pictures. The quality isn't so great, due the fact that digital cameras weren't always what they are now.

Enjoy my walk down memory lane!

 Bikini Evie! She loved, loved to dress up in her favorite grass skirt and swimsuit top.

Eve loved the piano even as a baby! 

Eve is showing off her new earrings... my big preggers belly got caught in the picture.

Evie and Grandma

 Ally's first day of kindergarten.

 Just hanging out in the car.  (we just threw that seat away this summer!)

 Halloween 2002

Bathtime for Ally with Grandma Cannon 

Before Ally banned me from doing her hair!

I miss Ally's curls!

 Cooper as a newborn.

 Cooper sleeping in the bouncer (after crying his eyes out for 1/2 hour while I cooked dinner!)

 Coop sleeping again....

 Cooper came home from his church nursery class feeling very "Thankful for My Ears!"

He's gonna use that shovel and move the whole mountain!

Here's to moving on to our next 'station' in life, gracefully and with no regrets!

Speed Boat Tour in Thailand Part II

The speed boat tour in Thailand was so fantastic! I just couldn't fit it all into one blog posting. Here are some fun pictures of the girls on the boat:

 Ally and Emma, looking a little uncomfortable in those jackets.

Look at those braids! 

 These are two cool dads!

Just hanging out on the boat...

The canoes that we took were really fun. We tooted around and saw some neat caverns.

We went to a Muslim village which is built completely over the water. It is home to about 1500 people who survive on tourism. We ate lunch there and then walked around looking at shops. We were accosted by a lady with a monkey who wouldn't let us leave without taking pictures - and of course, giving her some money.

 Buying ice cream in the Muslim village.

Lunch - left us all a little hungry....

Lee leaving the village.

More of the Muslim Village.

We left our resort rather early - before 8 am - and spent the entire day on the boat. By the time we finished lunch (the heat was so stifling that I actually felt a little sick during lunch) we were all pretty tired. We got back on the boat and headed out to an island to swim and relax. Everyone on the boat fell asleep.

 The Finotto Family Snoozing

 My two guys...

For some reason, Ally and Eve never fall asleep!

Lee took this picture to emphasize the Diet Coke I managed to find....and ice.... 

 
 Just hanging out in the beautiful water.

This was an island beach, only reachable by boat. The whole beach was lined with tourist boats.

The whole day was phenomenal! We had such a great time and saw so many fun things. I think that Thailand should be included among the MUST DO's in life. One must get married, to enjoy the deep commitment and companionship that comes from promising your life to someone else. One must have children, to experience service in it's purest form. One must have a commitment to God, to experience the pure joy that comes from dedicating your life to follow the Savior... and finally (but certainly not most important), one must visit Thailand, to experience a real tropical paradise!!!

 Hanging out at the back of the boat.

This doesn't even look real! Fabio took this picture and then played around with it. Pretty neat, huh?

Speed Boat Tour in Thailand

I've been waiting to blog part 3 of Thailand because our friends, the Finottos, promised me a disc with their pictures from Thailand. Fabio is a great photographer and I knew he had taken some fantastic pictures that I would love to post. When I opened the disc of pictures tonight, I wasn't disappointed. Fabio has some neat lenses and knows how to do some pretty cool stuff. I am positive that he didn't have the disc ready for me sooner simply because he wanted to edit, clean up and improve on his photos using his fancy computer programs!

One of our favorite things we did in Phuket was a speed boat tour. We left the hotel before 8 am and boarded a speed boat with about 25 other people. We toured around many beautiful islands, including 'James Bond Island', where a famous scene from a James Bond movie was filmed.

The kids had a great day, speeding around on the boat. Gianmarco and Cooper were great buds for the entire trip. Gianmarco is six and Emma is 4, just like Cooper. Those three kids were inseparable!

Cooper and Emma taking it all in.

Cooper and Gianmarco hanging out on the bow.

On our tour, we did some really cool stuff. We motored through some amazing forests, where the trees were growing in the water. I wish we had some better pictures, but if you look closely you can see the amazing root systems.

We had a great time at our first stop, which is James Bond Island. Of course, the guys were most impressed to be there!

Another really neat thing we did was take canoes/sea kayaks on a little tour inside the little inlets of the islands. I really enjoyed this. While we were on the kayaks, we were able to get really close to the shore (where the neat trees are) and due to it being low tide, we got to see walking fish up close!

Here are a few pictures of us in our kayaks/canoes...

We also got to go through some neat caverns:

 Our boat went right through here!

After getting this far into our Speed Boat tour, I think I'll finish up the rest on a separate post. The Muslim village and also the last island we visited were both really interesting and will be better covered in the next post.

Triathlon Training Update

Two months ago I decided to train for a triathlon. The idea was daunting, to say the least. So, I found a plan and got started. It's been 8 weeks of hard work, and I'm still not ready for my big day yet. But, I am pleased to report that I am making progress. When I started, I could only run 4K before feeling like I was going to die, right there on the side of the road. I hadn't ever swam laps of any sort and it had been years since I rode a bike for more than a short ride to the kids school. I am please to report that I can now run 8K in an hour.... and still live to tell about it! I usually ride about 14 miles on Saturdays and my swimming is coming along. I was so proud when I swam 1200 m. I still have a long way to go. Each event wipes me out.... I have to be able to swim 800m, bike 23K and run 10K, all on the same day, without really stopping. So I still have some major work to do. Taking the time to reflect today on my progress has been really encouraging. I still have 2 1/2 months before the big event and it is easy to get discouraged. I am having a lot of fun training and can't wait for the big day. I am enjoying learning how to swim properly. I've been watching all the youtube videos possible to help me improve my stroke. My favorite website, www.beginnertriathlete.com, is really helpful and I love reading everyone's stories about their first Tri. One of my big motivators is to be able to send in my story to be published on the website. Today I completed 8K without wanting to puke at the end, which is a great achievement.

Today I posted this on Facebook:

"What's the best thing about pushing yourself to finish the 8K run you started??? Knowing there's a diet coke, hot bath and a plate of cheesy nachos waiting for you at home! Talk about a runner's high!" 

I'm going to sign off now and go enjoy some cheesy nachos. As my good friend Vanna always says "Ciao!" 

Scuba Diving

Lee has wanted be to get SCUBA certified for the longest time.... yes, THE LONGEST TIME. He started trying to convince me after Ally was born. Unfortunately, getting certified is both costly and time consuming. At that particular time I was just a wee bit distracted by having two babies in 17 months, and spending the better part of 3 years either being pregnant or breastfeeding, neither of which are terribly conducive to learning how to dive.

Finally, after 9 years, I have both the means AND the time - amazing how it only took 9 years to get both to occur simultaneously. Lee bought me lessons for my 34th birthday present. It took two days in the classroom/swimming pool and 2 days (4 dives total) in Thailand to get PADI certified, but, I DID IT! Yeah! Poor Lee... he watched my brother get certified, we watched my sister get certified, he took a dive trip with both my brother and father, all not so patiently waiting for his wife to get it done. (I know, I am just a tiny bit sarcastic today... I think it has something to do with the crappy weather outside.) Anywho, in spite of my somewhat sarcastic undertone, I was really happy and excited to get certified. My classroom instructor was an English guy, nice enough but dumb enough to try and argue gun control with me and incredibly stupid enough to insult Americans while sitting in a one on one lesson with me in the classroom.... not my idea of a good teacher. Regardless, I learned the skills, took the tests and enjoyed my dives so much more than my classroom time.

My first two dives were beach dives. My instructor and I took a tuk tuk to the beach, geared up and walked into our dive site. It was a really nice reef and even though it was so close to a public beach, it seemed well kept and surprisingly was unpopulated with divers. It was a little scary at first. I am a natural swimmer and swim twice a week, winter, summer, and fall, so that wasn't the scary part. Breathing underwater was really a lot easier to adjust to that I thought it would be. The scary part was learning to maintain buoyancy.... learning how to float at the right depth without bouncing all over the bottom of the reef. Once I figured that out, it was so much fun! We saw lionfish and so many beautifully colored corals. It was so neat.

Here's an example of a tuk tuk. (This wasn't ours)

The boat dives the next day were even more spectacular. The kids stayed at the resort's kids club while Lee and I took the whole day for our dives. Our dive master was Italian... don't remember his name, but he was a really nice guy. We took another tuk tuk to the pier, where there were literally hundreds of other people waiting to get on busses that would take us down to the end of a really long pier where all our chartered boats were waiting.

Here's a view of the harbor as we were setting out for our dive.

So we took a chartered boat with about 20 people, all going on their own separate dives with their own dive masters. It was interesting because I was worried that with all those people the dive site would be crowded, but it wasn't. We went out about an hour and a half out to dive some reefs off of an island (I don't remember which island it was.) Of course, I got sea sick, I always do! I took some dramamine on the boat, fell asleep in the sun and got a burn before we even got to the dive site.... grhh... 

We really had a great time, despite the early sunburn. The sun is so strong in Thailand. Lee and I both put SPF 30 as we were leaving the pier and I was only sitting in the sun for about 25 minutes, so it didn't even occur to me that I would get burned so quickly. 

So, we really enjoyed the day together. We had a great Thai lunch on the boat, we enjoyed listening to all the languages being spoken - I remember hearing French, Thai, Japanese, Hindi and English. After lunch we had our second dive, which was really the coolest. There was a school of young barracuda that we swam through. It was so neat - a lot like the school of fish on Finding Nemo that made all the shapes for Dory to guess. We swam right through the school. They sort of parted for us and then just filled in right around us as we swam.

It was a wonderful experience, spending the day with Lee and starting a new hobby together. I can't wait to dive again! The only downside to the whole day was that I was so, so tired when we got back after 5 PM that night. I felt like I was on the boat until I fell asleep that night! 

Here we are on our way home from a great day!

This the view of the islands as we headed home.

What Makes the World Go Round?

It's often been said that money makes the world go round. I would have to disagree; control makes the world go round. I don't mean the kind of control that a mighty country might have in the international community. I'm not referring to the control that is obtained by buying a certain percentage of shares of a company. Nor am I even referring to the control we can exercise over the ones we love, whether it's intentional manipulation or the control we have without even knowing it.

The control I am referring to is self control. We have daily choices to make - all day, everyday. From the choice of what color socks to wear to what route to take to work, or whether or not to bend the truth a little, our ability to exercise self control is always present, always there for us to master. As I watch my children, fighting over the remote control, I see them choosing how to react, how to manipulate the situation. When my girls are sure that the world is coming to a crashing end because one sister won't share with the other, it's amazing how quickly they are able to make amends and resolve the situation on their own when faced with my very small intervention of "Either work it out lovingly between the two of you, or I will take it away." Suddenly, the situation changes. At first they were 100% sure that they had no choice but to yell and scream, but quickly realized that they did have power to come to a mutual agreement.

So, you are wondering, where I am going with this whole dissertation on self control? We all go through highs and lows in our lives, peaks and valleys, periods of turmoil and periods of peace and satisfaction. Recently, our family came through a trying time... a definite valley. As we have pulled together and made difficult, yet righteous decisions, I have seen the power that comes through exercising self control. I have seen changes that come through making good choices. I have felt the peace that comes when a family works together as a family to follow the Lord's path, even when you're not sure where it will take you.

I had surgery in October and took quite awhile to recover. During that recovery period, I had some time for serious personal reflection. I have many strengths and many weaknesses. One weakness that I particularly dislike is my lack of patience with my children. I tend to be short with the kids, yelling instead of talking things through. I didn't even realize just how unacceptable this was until spending some time with a wonderful friend here in Shanghai. After a year of watching her with her children, it finally occurred to me that I could be that kind of mother. I struggle with anxiety and have for so many years. Whenever I feel out of control and anxious with the kids, I have (in the past) just blamed it on my medical condition. My kids and I refer to my medicine as 'brain medicine' because it helps my brain produce all the chemicals that I need. When I am particularly grumpy, Ally usually asks "Mom, did you take your brain medicine today?"

So back to the surgery (I promise it all ties in). Last night Ally looked at me, as we were making cookies, and asked if my surgery had anything to do with my brain. I told her no and asked her why she asked. She replied that since my surgery I had been much nicer...  much more like Sister So and So, and wondered if they had fixed my brain. It made me so happy to know that my efforts in self control were paying off. I have admired this sister and tried to imitate her interactions with her children, in the hopes that imitation would help me get where I wanted to be, which is a more loving, patient and kind mother. What joy I felt, knowing that even though I struggle, and even though I really do have to maintain daily medications to feel emotional health, that the gift of free agency is there for me to take advantage of. It is so easy to look for a scape goat, to look for somewhere to place blame, rather than taking responsibility and accepting that the consequences of our actions are real and tangible.

We teach our children to exercise self control each day. We teach them through little mini life lessons and we teach through example. So, today I stand on my very short soap box, feeling pleased that in at least one area of my life I've managed to exercise a little self control. Now, the trick is to keep it up, continuing to "be loving and gentle in deed and in thought, for these are the things Jesus taught." We are promised great blessings when we endure to the end. I don't think that means that we just continue 'being', living and breathing. I think that means we have to keep making good decisions, every step of the way. We have to keep on keeping on, even when it would be so much easier not to.

Money doesn't make the world go round, using our power and agency to exercise self control is what makes us happy and complete.