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Saturday, July 31, 2010

Falling Off the Wagon

I've been doing so good.... I vowed that I wouldn't go crazy this summer eating all the wonderful rich American food that I love so much. I've done pretty well so far. I've maintained some semblance of order, exercising at least 3 times a week. I'm sure one day of freedom won't destroy me for life, but if any one day was my day to splurge, yesterday was it. I started the day with Krispy Kreme Donuts.... my absolute favorite ever. I drove 15 minutes each way just to get to the shop and proceeded to eat 3 on the car ride home. YUMMY!!! I rationalized telling myself that I would have a very healthy lunch FOR SURE. Then, hanging out at the pool while Lee golfed, I overheard a group of families discussing plans to order pizza for lunch. I decided that would be a perfect solution for our lunch needs. So, away I went with 3 pieces of pizza. Where did my self control go? It was perfectly lovely, eating perfectly delicious pizza in my swimsuit, lounging in the sun. OK, strike two. Dinner time rolls around and we decide to treat the kids to Olive Garden because they have been asking since we arrived in the US 5 weeks ago. Can ANYONE eat healthy at Olive Garden? Those breadsticks are to die for, the fettucini alfredo is my all time favorite at Olive Garden.... Steee rike 3!!!! But it was one delicious day, though. :-) Oddly enough, I feel no guilt whatsoever.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Blue Skies; Lazy Drifting; Ocean Breeze Dreaming

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We spent two days digging trenches and building castles.

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The kids were digging "their rooms", as in a bedroom for each of them.

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They somehow hoped to fill the trenches with water and got so frustrated when the water disappeared!
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I spent HOURS building these two sand castles and in the end, they weren't nearly as impressive as I thought they should be!
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In the end we had to fill in all the trenches because the sea turtles were nesting and it was dangerous to them to leave any holes of any sort.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Go To Your Happy Place

After what felt like an eternity of house hunting in Tampa, it would be putting it mildly to say that we needed a break from reality. A 12 hour drive from Hattiesburg to Tampa with our three kids was only the beginning for both children and adults alike getting sick of being in the car. Day #2 was spent driving around Tampa to get a feel for the area. It began with 2 hours in a clinic for Ally's swimmer's ear infection and ended with a tired crew of kids, tired of being in the car with absolutely no destination. Day #3 was spent with a realtor who, although touted that being born and raised in Tampa (she was in her early 50's) couldn't even give us directions to her house! We spent an hour waiting for her to map out our day's search and that was just the beginning of our ill fortune with Donna. Day #4 was Sunday, so we went to church and then visited model homes, putting the kids through yet another grueling day of boring grown up stuff, where they weren't allowed to yell, run, play or relax. By the end of our sojourn in Tampa, the grown ups were equally exhausted and frustrated. On Day #5, we loaded up the car (no small feat) and were off to Ft. Myers Beach for a week of fun and sun.

I think I speak for our entire family when I say we were in great need of a get away. Having just received the news only 2 weeks prior that we were being transferred from Shanghai to Tampa, we were all feeling the stress and worry associated with making such a big transition with only one month's notice.

We arrived around 4 PM, tired, disheveled and somewhat irritated with one another. It was with a huge sigh of relief that we greeted our vacation house.

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We rented the upstairs of the 'Glass House' and were thankful that there were no tenants on the bottom floor during our week stay. Here's the view from our patio:

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The house is located on a little island called Little Hickory Island. It is one of many in a string of islands running parallel the west coast of Florida. Because it is a little out of the way, it allows for quiet and uncrowded beaches.

Our neighbors to the right were quite interesting to observe. After 2 or 3 days of trying to figure out this family, we finally talked to them, learning that they meet at the beach every year as a family. Because each child is grown with families of their own, they spend a week at the beach, coming and going as their schedules allow. At any given point there were 8-14 people at the house, speaking a medley of Spanish and English, tinged with Cuban and Ecuadorian accents. Ally asked one day "Mom, just how many people ARE there in that house?"

We spent the week sunning:


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Swimming:

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Playing in the sand:


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And even found time to fit some good old fashioned grilling into the mix:

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Where the kids and I found relaxation and our slice of paradise on the beach, Lee found his quiet joy on the golf course. When I met Lee, his passion outside of work was golf. Year by year, he slowly relinquished his free time (bit by bit) to raising children, meeting the demands of his wife and keeping up with the house, lawn and the Jones' in an exhausting effort to maintain an equilibrium. Happily, dad was able to get back to the basics by spending a couple of afternoons hitting a little white ball around a really well manicured field! Yeah Dad!

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We live in a world filled with distractions. The world our children are growing up in is vastly different than the one we remember. When I was a child it was safe to roam the neighborhood unsupervised for hours. My mom could leave me in the car while she ran into the grocery store. It was safe for me to stay home alone. In our modern and technologically advanced world even the precious innocence of childhood is no longer sacred and we must protect their virtue with a vicious vigilance. So with utmost sincerity I say: Cling to your families, cling to their innocence. Cherish the time you spend with them. As a family, find your happy place and savor everything that makes that place special. Our next step is to take our home, wherever it may be, and ensure that it is our Happy Place.








House Hunting Part I

It's no secret, it's no surprise; 
house hunting sucks, no matter what disguise!

Ok, no more silly little rhymes. It's been 4 years since we last bought a house and I forgot just how frustrating it can be. A few things have changed in the last 4 years which are making buying a house more complicated for us. Most importantly, 4 years ago Lee and I were younger, immature/inexperienced and even just a little greedy. Our previous home purchases (before Texas) had been much smaller and affordable. When we moved to Texas we thought we could afford the moon... if it came with a 30 year mortgage! I guess we just fit in with the rest of the US, thinking we could buy anything and everything on credit. We qualified for the loan, so of course we should be able to afford it, right??? After 2 years in Houston, living in my house of dreams complete with 3200 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3 and a half baths, hardwood floors lush tropical landscaping and a pool in the backyard, I can honestly say that we felt like we were drowning. Who knew that life could be so expensive? Who knew that taxes, insurance, gymnastics, electric bills, a rise in gasoline costs, and life in general would eat us alive? I am sure an older and more mature and wise couple would have known, but were certainly not at that place. There are some lessons you can't learn by taking other's advice. There are some lessons that are only learned through experience.

So, that brings us to the here and now. Here we are, after spending two years living abroad... After two years living in someone else's house, living with furniture that's not mine... ok, let's be frank - After living with Chinese built crap that doesn't work I am sufficiently humbled and thankful for American quality workmanship. Now, I must digress just for a moment (this is MY blog, after all!). I've spent two years living with plumbing that allows for only ONE person at a time to use the water. If Dad's taking a shower you'd better NOT use the sink in the kitchen. Don't do laundry. Don't flush the toilet even though it's a whole floor away from the shower! The rent for our house was $3000/month... that's US $$$$ (thank you ABS for paying that absurd rent!). You'd think that for that kind of money, you'd be living the high life! Instead, our ceiling in at least 2 rooms had sections that were sagging and threatened to fall at any moment. Doors that don't lock, sliding glass doors held together with drywall screws... Ok, there's my digression for you. After the last two years, I am sufficiently humbled. (Isn't that a humble enough statement for you?)

So what's the point of my rambling? Does anyone even care if I am going anywhere with all this nonsense?(Remember you are Following At Your Own Risk here) The point is, Lee and I agreed that we are content to own or rent a smaller, less expensive home if that's what it takes to live comfortably. We'd rather have money to go on a date once a week, to pay for gymnastics, to buy a few extras, not freak out over the cost of ordering a pizza every now and then. Having said that I'd like to use the time old phrase "Better said than done"!!!

We set a budget for a house and promised to stick to that budget no matter what. But what we didn't know was what that budget would buy us. Back in 2000 when we built our first house in Navarre, FL we paid $125,000 for a custom built house. It's been 10 years, so we figured that a budget of $200K would be sufficient.

We found out a few things about ourselves as we dove into the housing market of Tampa, Fl. First, I found out that I am a lot pickier than I thought I was. Here's what I don't want:

  • A neighborhood with 2-4 cars parked at each house spilling out of the driveway onto the street.
  • A neighborhood where you can shake hands with your neighbor through your bedroom windows.
  • A neighborhood where all the trees have been clear cut.
  • A house with wood rot from stem to stern.
  • 1 hour commute time for Lee.
  • C, D or F rated elementary schools.
  • 30 year old homes that are falling apart.
  • A tract home built with the cheapest materials possible.
  • Man made ponds shaped like squares.

I've always known Lee and I have very different opinions about life, but I didn't know just how different they were until we started house hunting again.

What he wants:
  • Land/acreage.
  • A farm-ette.
  • A detached garage with mother in law suite.
  • A historical home built in the early 1900's in the historical district.
What that translates to for me:
  • No neighborhood friends for the kids.
  • No cul de sacs for the kids to ride bikes in.
  • No close neighbors... me spending my days alone, with no one to talk to.
  • Animals to care for.
  • Lots and lots of daily chores.
  • No friends for the kids means my children will follow me from room to room with little to no breathing space (the only situation in which I feel claustrophobic).
    What I want:
    • A neighborhood with lots of children.
    • A community center with a large pool and play sets, gym facilities, etc.
    • A pool in the backyard.
    • Neighbors in the same socio-economic bracket.
    • A well manicured lawn.
    • Potential to make friends with my neighbors... or at least interact every now and then with another human being.
    What that means for Lee:
    • Lots and lots of neighborhood covenants which will not allow for large machinery left in the driveway.
    • Covenants that will also not allow for ongoing generator testing (generators are LOUD!)
    • No room to tinker and experiment uninhibited.
    • No opportunity to engage in his favorite hobbies.
    • No farm animals.
    • Life in Suburbia.
    So, how do we reconcile our Needs/Wants and Opinions? We've searched the web until there is nothing left to search. There are no leaves unturned, there are no corners unexplored. What to do, what to do? We are at a loss. We lay in bed at night discussing the pros and cons of each lifestyle.

    I grew up with horses and LOVED it. Anyone who knows me knows that I've always wanted horses again. Now that the prospect is here staring me in the face, all I can think is: How much will horses cost? You can't just have one, because riding alone is boring. How much land do you need for 4 horses? Who is going to feed those horses every day, twice a day? How much will land maintenance cost? We'd have to live in the middle of nowhere! How do we go on vacation with a little farm to care for?

    We've discovered that we really won't be happy settling for less. We really aren't as humble as we thought we were. There are more 'un-negotiables' than we thought. In a nutshell we thought we were willing to settle for less....but are we really?

    Are we really, really willing to settle for less?



    Friday, July 23, 2010

    Cousin Party 2010

    OK, I must preface this posting by saying that I am 2 weeks late in reporting. I've gotten seriously behind in my blogging and am playing catch up.

    Every year we, the Smith family clan, convene at the Clan Chieftain's Castle (aka Grandma and Pappou's house) for an all out cousin party. Parties in the past have consisted of parents dropping off their kids and running as fast as they can for the hills.... Technically, we've taken shelter in Uncle Brandon's family owned lake house, near Milledgeville, GA. For two years running, all cousins 3 years old and younger went with the parents to the lake house while the rest stayed at grandma and pappou's house and ran amuck. Past cousin parties have included candy necklaces, personalized with each cousin's name and worn to signify full rights and privileges to the candy drawer in between meals. This candy drawer contained a bag of each grandchild's favorite candy and was open for perusal as long as meals were eaten. We parents observed in wonder as the grandparents set rules and managed 6 grandchildren 8 years old and under. To say things got wild and crazy would be putting it mildly, at best. Each cousin party would conclude with relaxed and refreshed parents, candy crazed children and grandparents who very well might have fallen dead from exhaustion.

    This year, with 7 eligible grandchildren ages 9 and under, the Smith Clan decided to alter cousin party parameters, including all grandchildren (9 total) and including the involvement of the parents. The candy drawer practice was abolished (whew!) and activities ranged from horseback riding to movie watching in the basement to swimming at the neighborhood pool.

    I couldn't resist putting this one in of my nephew Max. He was trying so hard to be dramatic and pitch a fit, when in reality, all he succeeded in doing was looking cute!
                                             
    I'm going to be selfish here and not post pictures of each cousin.... sorry everyone! Needless to say, horseback riding was a complete success on all accounts. Even the littlest of cousins got a turn on the horse (OK, so one more picture of horses after all!)
    Other wild and crazy activities included such things as Dinner Time, which sounds simple enough, but when you have 9 cousins all 9 years old or younger, believe you me it is both WILD and CRAZY.


    After two crazy and harried days of fixing breakfast, lunch and dinner for this bunch of hooligans, we decided to serve cafeteria style, rather than attempting to have a family style meal. We set up an assembly line on the counter, filling 9 plates (custom ordered, of course) and calling the children one by one to the counter to "order" their food. Whew, it was exhausting!

    I think pool time was both my favorite and least favorite activity. I love swimming, love sunning and love being at the pool. However, trying to keep eyes on 9 kids at one time was more challenging than one might think! Here are some fun shots from pool time:
    The kids all LOVED this daredevil slide that is new to the neighborhood pool. I gave it a whirl too and it is pretty fun.



    Pappou was man of the hour at the pool. The kids LOVED all the attention from their pappou. 

    Another favorite activity was the birthday party. Grandma hosted a birthday party to celebrate the birthdays of all the children because we are not together for birthdays. She let all 9 kids participate in making the cake from scratch and even helped each child write his/her name in frosting on the cake.
    Kudos to Grandma for the patience of Job while managing this activity!
    My lens was dirty, so the picture came out fuzzy - sorry! Grandma and Pappou gave each child 'birthday' $$$ to spend at Wal-Mart and we spent the better part of an hour allowing the kids to spend their cash. You'd be amazed at just how careful and choosy a kid is when they are spending their own money!
    It was an amazing week. Although crazy and stressful, it was also wonderful. We loved having Grandma & Pappou, Ernie & Rebecca & co., Little Steve, Libby & Brandon & co. and me and my kids all under one roof. It was great to wake up each morning to smiling faces, breakfast pandemonium, Grandma and Pappou hosted fruit parties on Pappou's bed, trips to the park, swimming, grabbing Zaxby's for 10 people, hot afternoons where Uncle Ernie made Harry Potter wands for all 9 cousins out of tree branches using his pocket knife... we can't forget the many twice a day Sonic runs for Aunt Kitty (Large Diet coke, easy vanilla please), kids in swimsuits playing in the sprinkler, Braswell and his fluffles - OK, he calls it his Baebeeeee.
    We got to see old friends...
    And watch the talented Uncle Ernie entertain kids:
    We were thankful that Grandma and Pappou opened their house so that we could make memories and share love. 
    Next year Cousin Party 2011 will be a little different. With grandchild #10 (Go Libby, Go!) on the way, one house just isn't big enough to hold all the love and excitement and wonder of 10 grandkids, two grandparents and 8 parents. So, it is with a heavy heart that we bid Cousin Party 2010 farewell and adieu. Hugs, kisses and Sonic Drinks to all those we love in the Smith Clan. See you next year!

    Travelling the Big Blue

    Every year we journey across the pacific enduring 14 grueling hours of flying followed by hours of layovers with three kids in an airport; we brave customs and the Atlanta airport (which is no small feat) to come home to Georgia to visit family and friends. This year's pilgrimage began much the same, with the exception that we flew Air Canada to save quite a bit of money. Note to self: NEVER fly Air Canada to save some $$$. A full 5 days BEFORE the flight, somehow the airlines knew that the flight would be delayed by 4 hours, but still couldn't manage to rectify the situation. At least I was forewarned and didn't show up to the airport 4 hours too early! What this delay meant for us was that we missed our connecting flight in Toronto and had to spend the night in a hotel. Imagine 14 hours on a flight with 3 kids (did I mention that Lee didn't travel with us?) where they, blessedly, slept for most of the flight. This is followed by customs, the collecting of luggage and navigating a new airport with three kids in tow and then catching the shuttle to the hotel (again, not small feat!) at 11 pm. Then imagine getting to the hotel room at 12 am with kids whose bodies don't think it's time to sleep! For us it was time for lunch, not time to sleep. So, I did the only sane and rational thing that a mother could do and gave each child 1/3 of a tylenol PM, told them a Pipi Longstocking story to settle them in and we all enjoyed 3 hours of sleep. I should not fail to mention that I resorted to the Tylenol PM only after 2 hours of trying to manage them in the cramped hotel room, jumping from bed to bed.

    For some reason, I held the deranged idea that the following morning's flight would actually be on-time. Silly Kitty, Trix are For Major Airlines!! Due to 'weather' in the originating city, our flight was delayed by three hours. This time we had no warning. We were sat helplessly watching as the flight continued to get later and later.

    Luckily, we made friends at the airport, like we so often do, with a great guy named Chris. You know how your mom always told you "Don't judge a book by it's cover"? Well, Chris looked like a mean burly biker dude, but turned out to be a soft and cuddly tatted up biker dude.
    He passed the time coloring carebears with the kids, taking Cooper to buy candy and eating pizza with us. The time passed a lot faster with a friend to hang out with.

    We also made friends with a Chinese American family travelling from Shanghai to Chicago, where they live. As the mother was also travelling alone with small children, we had a lot to talk about. Her two girls were about the same ages as our kids and they got along really well. I was thankful for the added company as well as the insight I gained from chatting with the mother.
    Thankfully, our flight from Toronto to Atlanta was relatively painless. We did have to wait for the aircraft to be refueled after we boarded. Getting to Atlanta was such a relief after 36 hours of travelling! Grandma and Pappou were happy to see us. They had patiently waited at the airport for 3 hours due to the delays that weren't announced until AFTER they had left their house!

    Whew! With our luggage in tow, we made the one hour journey from the airport home, enjoying a stop at Sonic along the way for dinner.