House Hunting Part I

It's no secret, it's no surprise; 

house hunting sucks, no matter what disguise!

Ok, no more silly little rhymes. It's been 4 years since we last bought a house and I forgot just how frustrating it can be. A few things have changed in the last 4 years which are making buying a house more complicated for us. Most importantly, 4 years ago Lee and I were younger, immature/inexperienced and even just a little greedy. Our previous home purchases (before Texas) had been much smaller and affordable. When we moved to Texas we thought we could afford the moon... if it came with a 30 year mortgage! I guess we just fit in with the rest of the US, thinking we could buy anything and everything on credit. We qualified for the loan, so of course we should be able to afford it, right??? After 2 years in Houston, living in my house of dreams complete with 3200 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3 and a half baths, hardwood floors lush tropical landscaping and a pool in the backyard, I can honestly say that we felt like we were drowning. Who knew that life could be so expensive? Who knew that taxes, insurance, gymnastics, electric bills, a rise in gasoline costs, and life in general would eat us alive? I am sure an older and more mature and wise couple would have known, but were certainly not at that place. There are some lessons you can't learn by taking other's advice. There are some lessons that are only learned through experience.

So, that brings us to the here and now. Here we are, after spending two years living abroad... After two years living in someone else's house, living with furniture that's not mine... ok, let's be frank - After living with Chinese built crap that doesn't work I am sufficiently humbled and thankful for American quality workmanship. Now, I must digress just for a moment (this is MY blog, after all!). I've spent two years living with plumbing that allows for only ONE person at a time to use the water. If Dad's taking a shower you'd better NOT use the sink in the kitchen. Don't do laundry. Don't flush the toilet even though it's a whole floor away from the shower! The rent for our house was $3000/month... that's US $$$$ (thank you ABS for paying that absurd rent!). You'd think that for that kind of money, you'd be living the high life! Instead, our ceiling in at least 2 rooms had sections that were sagging and threatened to fall at any moment. Doors that don't lock, sliding glass doors held together with drywall screws... Ok, there's my digression for you. After the last two years, I am sufficiently humbled. (Isn't that a humble enough statement for you?)

So what's the point of my rambling? Does anyone even care if I am going anywhere with all this nonsense?(Remember you are Following At Your Own Risk here) The point is, Lee and I agreed that we are content to own or rent a smaller, less expensive home if that's what it takes to live comfortably. We'd rather have money to go on a date once a week, to pay for gymnastics, to buy a few extras, not freak out over the cost of ordering a pizza every now and then. Having said that I'd like to use the time old phrase "Better said than done"!!!

We set a budget for a house and promised to stick to that budget no matter what. But what we didn't know was what that budget would buy us. Back in 2000 when we built our first house in Navarre, FL we paid $125,000 for a custom built house. It's been 10 years, so we figured that a budget of $200K would be sufficient.

We found out a few things about ourselves as we dove into the housing market of Tampa, Fl. First, I found out that I am a lot pickier than I thought I was. Here's what I don't want:

• A neighborhood with 2-4 cars parked at each house spilling out of the driveway onto the street.
• A neighborhood where you can shake hands with your neighbor through your bedroom windows.
• A neighborhood where all the trees have been clear cut.
• A house with wood rot from stem to stern.
• 1 hour commute time for Lee.
• C, D or F rated elementary schools.
• 30 year old homes that are falling apart.
• A tract home built with the cheapest materials possible.
• Man made ponds shaped like squares.

I've always known Lee and I have very different opinions about life, but I didn't know just how different they were until we started house hunting again.

What he wants:

• Land/acreage.
• A farm-ette.
• A detached garage with mother in law suite.
• A historical home built in the early 1900's in the historical district.

What that translates to for me:

• No neighborhood friends for the kids.
• No cul de sacs for the kids to ride bikes in.
• No close neighbors... me spending my days alone, with no one to talk to.
• Animals to care for.
• Lots and lots of daily chores.
• No friends for the kids means my children will follow me from room to room with little to no breathing space (the only situation in which I feel claustrophobic).

What I want:

• A neighborhood with lots of children.
• A community center with a large pool and play sets, gym facilities, etc.
• A pool in the backyard.
• Neighbors in the same socio-economic bracket.
• A well manicured lawn.
• Potential to make friends with my neighbors... or at least interact every now and then with another human being.

What that means for Lee:

• Lots and lots of neighborhood covenants which will not allow for large machinery left in the driveway.
• Covenants that will also not allow for ongoing generator testing (generators are LOUD!)
• No room to tinker and experiment uninhibited.
• No opportunity to engage in his favorite hobbies.
• No farm animals.
• Life in Suburbia.

So, how do we reconcile our Needs/Wants and Opinions? We've searched the web until there is nothing left to search. There are no leaves unturned, there are no corners unexplored. What to do, what to do? We are at a loss. We lay in bed at night discussing the pros and cons of each lifestyle.

I grew up with horses and LOVED it. Anyone who knows me knows that I've always wanted horses again. Now that the prospect is here staring me in the face, all I can think is: How much will horses cost? You can't just have one, because riding alone is boring. How much land do you need for 4 horses? Who is going to feed those horses every day, twice a day? How much will land maintenance cost? We'd have to live in the middle of nowhere! How do we go on vacation with a little farm to care for?

We've discovered that we really won't be happy settling for less. We really aren't as humble as we thought we were. There are more 'un-negotiables' than we thought. In a nutshell we thought we were willing to settle for less....but are we really?

Are we really, really willing to settle for less?