What Makes the World Go Round?

It's often been said that money makes the world go round. I would have to disagree; control makes the world go round. I don't mean the kind of control that a mighty country might have in the international community. I'm not referring to the control that is obtained by buying a certain percentage of shares of a company. Nor am I even referring to the control we can exercise over the ones we love, whether it's intentional manipulation or the control we have without even knowing it.

The control I am referring to is self control. We have daily choices to make - all day, everyday. From the choice of what color socks to wear to what route to take to work, or whether or not to bend the truth a little, our ability to exercise self control is always present, always there for us to master. As I watch my children, fighting over the remote control, I see them choosing how to react, how to manipulate the situation. When my girls are sure that the world is coming to a crashing end because one sister won't share with the other, it's amazing how quickly they are able to make amends and resolve the situation on their own when faced with my very small intervention of "Either work it out lovingly between the two of you, or I will take it away." Suddenly, the situation changes. At first they were 100% sure that they had no choice but to yell and scream, but quickly realized that they did have power to come to a mutual agreement.

So, you are wondering, where I am going with this whole dissertation on self control? We all go through highs and lows in our lives, peaks and valleys, periods of turmoil and periods of peace and satisfaction. Recently, our family came through a trying time... a definite valley. As we have pulled together and made difficult, yet righteous decisions, I have seen the power that comes through exercising self control. I have seen changes that come through making good choices. I have felt the peace that comes when a family works together as a family to follow the Lord's path, even when you're not sure where it will take you.

I had surgery in October and took quite awhile to recover. During that recovery period, I had some time for serious personal reflection. I have many strengths and many weaknesses. One weakness that I particularly dislike is my lack of patience with my children. I tend to be short with the kids, yelling instead of talking things through. I didn't even realize just how unacceptable this was until spending some time with a wonderful friend here in Shanghai. After a year of watching her with her children, it finally occurred to me that I could be that kind of mother. I struggle with anxiety and have for so many years. Whenever I feel out of control and anxious with the kids, I have (in the past) just blamed it on my medical condition. My kids and I refer to my medicine as 'brain medicine' because it helps my brain produce all the chemicals that I need. When I am particularly grumpy, Ally usually asks "Mom, did you take your brain medicine today?"

So back to the surgery (I promise it all ties in). Last night Ally looked at me, as we were making cookies, and asked if my surgery had anything to do with my brain. I told her no and asked her why she asked. She replied that since my surgery I had been much nicer...  much more like Sister So and So, and wondered if they had fixed my brain. It made me so happy to know that my efforts in self control were paying off. I have admired this sister and tried to imitate her interactions with her children, in the hopes that imitation would help me get where I wanted to be, which is a more loving, patient and kind mother. What joy I felt, knowing that even though I struggle, and even though I really do have to maintain daily medications to feel emotional health, that the gift of free agency is there for me to take advantage of. It is so easy to look for a scape goat, to look for somewhere to place blame, rather than taking responsibility and accepting that the consequences of our actions are real and tangible.

We teach our children to exercise self control each day. We teach them through little mini life lessons and we teach through example. So, today I stand on my very short soap box, feeling pleased that in at least one area of my life I've managed to exercise a little self control. Now, the trick is to keep it up, continuing to "be loving and gentle in deed and in thought, for these are the things Jesus taught." We are promised great blessings when we endure to the end. I don't think that means that we just continue 'being', living and breathing. I think that means we have to keep making good decisions, every step of the way. We have to keep on keeping on, even when it would be so much easier not to.

Money doesn't make the world go round, using our power and agency to exercise self control is what makes us happy and complete.

Paradise is Possible!!!

Thailand has been a dream of mine for a long, long time. Our first year in China we watched all our friends  as they vacationed in far off exotic places. We looked on quietly, saving money, paying off debts and being conservative. Lee and I drooled as we watched one family tour Egypt, salivated as another toured Asia, stopping in Vietnam and Malaysia... another close friend travelled to the Philippines. We watched our expat community disappear each holiday as we stayed behind claiming to enjoy how peaceful the city felt while we quietly dreamed our dreams and saved our pennies. Thanks to my husband who manages money much better than I do, our turn to be exotic, daring and adventurous came!

I have to warn all my readers right here and now that the following blog entry will be nothing but ooey, gooey mushy ravings of a girl enchanted with the far off land of Thailand.  It was truly the most beautiful amazing place I have ever visited. From the moment we got off the plane and started our hour and a half long car ride to the resort, I was completely overwhelmed by the beauty and character of Phuket. We drove through lush mountains, passing pick up trucks filled with men and women returning from a long day of work. The hot wet tropical air was overwhelming as we sat in our jeans and sweaters, dying to get to our room and strip our of our oppressive clothing. My first thought was "We should move here, we HAVE to move here!"

We got to the Hilton and my dream come true began. Pictures just don't do it justice. We were welcomed in to an open air lounge where we were served the most delicious juice (still don't know what kind of juice it was) and given cold refreshing wash cloths to freshen up with. There was music (some sort of stringed instrument) being played by beautiful Thai women. I thought I had died and gone to heaven right then and there!

(This was taken a different day, but really it was two women our first day there.)

 This is the first view as you come up the stairs to the reception area.

Here's where we checked in, with couches to the left for relaxing.

Our stay in Paradise had a slight hiccup.... we were tired, a little jet lagged and very hungry and not at all in the mood for bad news. When they informed us that they had overbooked and wanted to put us at a different resort for the night we were slightly put out, until they offered to upgrade us to a suite and give us a free dinner at one of their restaurants for the entire week. We some how found it in our hearts to overlook the overbooking problem. We ate at the restaurant downstairs each night we were there, which turned out to save us quite a bit of $$$! Sails was a buffet restaurant with a different theme each night. Here are some pictures of the Italian night...

This is the bread table. It was amazing all by itself!

 One of the several buffet tables. You could ask for custom made pasta!

 This was OUR table. We sat there every night. The kids really liked the familiarity and knowing what to expect.

 This was the dessert buffet. YUMMY!

 Little tiny individual cups of chocolate mousse.

 Yummy cake!

 More yummy cake.

 This is the outside view of the restaurant.

Lovely wait staff. They were so sweet to us every night.

I know there are a lot of pictures of the restaurant, but we spent a lot of time there! In case you are wondering, I DID gain a few pounds this trip. I vowed to use the beautiful health club while on vacation to continue my training, but alas, between the scuba diving, elephant rides, speed boat tours, beach trips, massages and the three swimming pools I did not find time to work out. I will have to make up for it now that we've left paradise and returned to the real world!

So that's enough for today, mostly because the pictures I want to use are on Lee's computer and he's at work! So, in conclusion of Paradise Part One, I'd like to send out a HUGE shout out to my dear husband, who made my dream come true and carried me off like a princess to a foreign tropical island and treated me like a queen! 

Stay tuned for more adventures in Tropical Paradise!

Getting Ready for Thailand

I've been dreaming about Thailand for years. I once watched a movie based in Thailand and I haven't been able to get it out of my head since. So, tomorrow we are getting on a big jet plane and heading out over the big blue! I am so excited! We are all so excited. The kids are bouncing off the walls with excitement. So, in order to prepare for the big event, we dutifully stayed in bed 'til 9:00 this morning, dragged our lazy vacation butts off to breakfast at our favorite little restaurant and then did the only thing really necessary for a trip to Thailand... headed to the salon for haircuts and a painted toenails. Cooper and Lee got haircuts and came out looking spiffy and handsome. Eve and I got our toenails done! Miss Ally missed out on the fun because she was playing at a friend's house.

Cooper always has a way of wrapping all the ladies around his finger. He charmed one of the spa girls into painting a skull and cross bones on his thumb nail :). As for me, well, I'm not packed, the house is a mess, there's laundry to be done and a dog to get off to the kennel....but, my toes look good! Thailand, here we come!!!

Stay tuned for my next post.... I'm sure it will be full of great Thailand pictures. Hopefully we will all be sporting great tans too!

Reaping the Rewards of Motherhood - At Long Last!

Many feel the deep satisfaction of rearing children when witnessing the success of their children- you know, the first word, first solo ride on the bicycle, listening to their child read their first sentences..... watching your kiddo in a play or celebrating an A on a report card. Or course, these joys are indeed proud moments in my epic journey through this drama called motherhood. However, for me the real true satisfaction and most pure form of gratification parenthood can provide is summed up in the pictures below:

Still Seoul Mates (11 years of marriage celebrated in Style!)

I am so proud to be married to my USN sailor. Living in China has made it difficult for Lee to maintain his active drilling reservist status, but through a lot of hard work, Lee was able to find a unit in Seoul, Korea to commute to monthly for reserve duty. This month, his reserve weekend just happened to fall on our anniversary weekend. Lee has been suggesting to me for months that I accompany him on a trip to Seoul, so this month gave me the perfect opportunity for a quick get away. The kids stayed home with Ying, our lovely housekeeper, and Lee and I hopped on a plane and zipped up and away for a quiet weekend.

 

At the airport in China, I couldn't find a Diet Coke in the vending machine, but did find a beer!

First, let me say that I stepped on post (it's actually an Army post) and felt like somehow I'd taken a 1.5 hour flight to America. I experienced reverse culture shock in all it's force as I walked into the Dragon Hill Lodge (a very nice mini resort just for service members) and everyone was so polite! No one pushed to get into the elevator, people apologized for crossing in front of you, even though they were a full 5 feet away, children said excuse me and best of all, no one stepped on my toes or elbowed me while waiting for our table at dinner!

Actually, really, best of all I could buy American products at the Exchange (PX). I felt a rush of euphoria as I combed the aisles searching for nothing in particular. It's amazing how finding something so basic, like a pack of sewing pins, can change your day. I had Taco Bell for lunch the first day, which really made me smile!

Seoul was freezing butt cold (yes, that is a technical term), hovering around 30 degrees Fahrenheit for our entire trip. I bought a pair of earmuffs, which I have never had the need for before. Here's my run down of lovely American delicacies consumed Friday, Saturday and Sunday:

Doughnuts... yummy... Taco Bell.... Outback Steakhouse...breakfast of chex mix, cheetos and diet coke... Navy Club for lunch....On The Border....doughnuts (again).... Taco Bell (again)... topped off with some crappy Korean run burger joint at the airport, which I ended up dumping all the contents into the trash can. So, needless to say, I gained 2 pounds in 3 days! Ouch! I'm still working it off!

This was at the crappy hamburger joint in the airport in Korea.

I enjoyed spending $250 US dollars at the Commissary on dried goods for the next 2 months. I usually hate grocery shopping, but can honestly say that shopping was a pleasure. I bought BRAS!!!! YEAH!!!! While shopping at the Exchange I paused, looked at Lee and said "Wow, it's so quiet in here!" I can't remember the last time I had a quiet shopping experience in China. Can I just say "Yeah for America style shopping!"? :)

So, I didn't do much sight seeing in Seoul, I didn't hit the pavement to learn about Korean history or culture and I didn't eat any Korean food. But, I did have a great time that weekend! Lee and I saw Avatar (my first movie in a theatre in 8 months) on the world's largest IMAX screen. Great Movie!

Another great example of Engrish at it's finest! This fine specimen was in the taxi.

So maybe on my next trip to Korea I will take some tours, see some culture, learn something new. But for this go round - my thanks to the service members at Yongsan Army Base for providing me with a little slice of America to satiate my need for a little bit of home. I think I can make it 5 more months 'til our next trip stateside!

Chicken Fingers Part II

Again, I am obsessed with taking pictures at the supermarket. I have no earthly idea why I just can't stop myself, but it's true. Maybe it's because in general I am obsessed with food... who knows. Anyway, after my original chicken fingers post, I was in yet another supermarket and came across some fun (or disgusting) varieties of chicken feet... Hope you've got an appetite! These babies are bound to have you comin' back for more!

These little tasties are pickled in some sort of brine and have hot peppers.

Here's another variety of pickled chicken feet. Mmmmmm, it's delicious!

Sweet and Sour Chicken Feet

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Ok, obviously not chicken feet, but worth the post.

Chicken Fingers - The Real Deal!

I am sort of compelled to take pictures at the grocery store. I know, it sounds sort of crazy, but I just can't help myself. My most recent find are the most lovely, delectable chicken fingers. Normally, Chili's has my absolute favorite chicken fingers in the world, but these are quite tempting. Who knows, maybe I've found a new favorite! 

This one looks like it doesn't want to be eaten! I think it's giving me the bird (no pun intended!).

Then again, maybe I'll just go for the whole bird!